Have you ever felt the need to destroy your face and look ugly? Have you ever felt you are being followed almost everyday? Have you ever felt unsafe but also voiceless and defenseless just because no one else is bothered with what happens to you?

Its been a couple of days after I heard of an incident that happened near my workplace in broad daylight. There was an attempt for abduction of a woman who was just like you and me, travelling by public transport called the auto-rickshaw. She was lucky enough to escape uninjured, but imagining 2 extra men apart from the driver getting into your ride and asking you to shut up in broad daylight where you scream and scream your heart out trying to escape and NO HUMAN BEING INTERVENES. She had screamed off her life hanging on to the side of the rick trying to escape but onlookers just kept looking. Friends, that is Bangalore for you. A city which sleeps all the time and no one wants to help anybody. I have noticed, everyone adopts a defensive and reserved approach during situations like this. On the flip side, back in Mumbai, my father met with a minor accident when a speeding rickshaw rammed into him and the public pulled out the driver by his collar. The city where I come from, women are protected by the public. A scream is enough to huddle up the public and catch hold of the guy who has just been your pain. Well this Bangalore incident was enough to give me goosebumps. I began wondering, how many women are about to face this later, a joint mafia of auto drivers and people on the roads.

I often pass a very low lighted area to go home which gets me praying and chanting hymns and verses of God which I normally never get time for. Perhaps that is the only time I am spiritual. Men ogling and following are nothing new for women in Bangalore. But screaming out or mouthing a slang or two would never help. There is always an uncomfortable feeling no matter how safe I feel a certain area is. I have perhaps rarely gone through these circumstances back home. Yes I did, a few times, but I always had my brother or my father to my rescue. One of them was always awake to see me back home late in the night.

Perverts are there everywhere irrespective of the city, but it is on how people support each other. Perhaps a conservative Bangalore has just recently become a metro city and seeing a lot of migrants might have got these perverts’ sexual appetite on the rise. They perhaps have also learnt women don’t retort here nor talk. Even if they do something, these women are just too scared to face them and then add shame to their names. I travel by bus everyday and see men sitting on reserved seat for women. But does any woman speak up and claim her seat, very rarely.

Women don’t have a voice because they have never tried voicing their concerns. This city, if it needs to be one of the top Indian cities, it also needs to be safe. Anyone who seems a non- Kannada speaking Indian is considered vulnerable enough to be taken for a ride by rickshaw drivers and perverts in the public. Men try to move safe here and prove their cowardness almost everyday while a woman just shows she’s got no voice, except when another woman pushes her. How ironic, women show their true colors only when it comes to another woman, but with a man, they often go mute.

I cuss this city everyday. I am unhappy here, only because of this place. I was just beginning to make peace with this city’s culture till I heard a few incidents and now I have gone back to hating this place even more. It’s definitely not because of the fact that such men are around, its because people just don’t want to raise an alarm or help anyone who raises it!

So what should a woman do? Should she enroll for self defense or should she simply choose to ignore such behaviour. Wake up, Bangalore, not just to smell the coffee, but also to women’s freedom of expression and movement.

The Boss (D.K.) and the common woman.

Posted: March 27, 2013 in Uncategorized
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boss d.k.

the common boss

For everyone who follows me and others who don’t, Boss D.K. is just an abbreviated and a decent take of a slang used in India. Originated on the streets of Mumbai, this word is extremely derrogatory. It is referred to as DK Bose as well. But today from the name I have given here, its obvious who I am referring to. Yes its to all the bosses in the world who expect everything to be done by the employee as if he has failed Superman in the past decade. 

This shit happens in India folks. All Indian bosses are simple to be defined but complicated to understand. By definition they are a Bunch of Sad Salesmen (BOSS). When they fail to sell themselves as the ideal leader, they remove their frustration on employees by passing the buck of their own shortcomings. 

The CEO of Yahoo Marrissa recently launched her planned attack on her employees not letting them work remotely. But she atleast didn’t tell them go home late but be on time the next day! Every decent American organization atleast gives the flexibility of handling the job themselves. If you are given a job, use your own tactic to complete it, however you want. It doesn’t have anything to do with you coming on time or going. Your prescribed number of hours are eight and it is upto you how you use your time. But in Indian system:

1) You are expected to reach on time to work and even if you go late, you still have to come back on time the next day!

2) You are given a workstation with a PC. So it means you are expected to come to work everyday and stay till your deadlines.

3) The ones who are given a laptop are expected to use it like a mobile phone. Please remain stuck to it even at home.

4) Those who are given mobile phones, well they are expected to get married to it get a divorce from their own partners. I am telling you the truth. The highest rate of divorce cases happen due to negligence by one party. But do the bosses care. NO!  

We all know what couch potatoes men can be. The same couch potatoes mostly end up being the boss. They don’t understand plight of a home maker who works as well. As for the women who become boss, men don’t like taking order from them given their ego and as for other women, they share cold wars. 

Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a homemaker and a working woman too. I don’t have a servant, only for a simple reason that I don’t trust them. I have heard enough murder and robberies that happen only through maids. Added to that I am in a city called Bangalore which has people who work in the lowest of jobs who carry arrogance that can fill up a truck.  Oh, and they operate through unions. So you know, you have to put up with shitty demands that can fill up the same truck. Then other past experiences such as maids not arriving on time, not being regular etc. Na, I don’t deserve to go through this. I am happy that my mother trained me in doing almost every kind of housework. So I know to manage my home myself, no thank you maids. I am not that woman who stands in front of the mirror for an hour till i get the eyeliner right and come to work. Yet i confess i do indulge in makeup being a make up freak, but not at the cost of ignoring my homework and office routine.  I have several other things to do when I get back home. Dude, I don’t even have a cook, nor does my partner cook. Thanks a dozen to you too. 

On a normal day I am thinking what to cook back home on my way from work. When I reach home, I am just too tired to cook, yet pull myself together to manage something and watch some T.V. My weekends mostly go in cleaning and doing the laundry. 

Often my mornings go in checking some paper work or clearing up the kitchen. You see, I am cleanliness freak too. I hate seeing a mess in my house. No thanks to having an equally messy partner. I don’t get the energy to wake up and go for a jog or do yoga. In between all this you happen to arrive at work about an hour late a couple times. You have tried explaining your position to your grouchy boss in the past. All he says is get up early and do it and make it on time. And today he says the same shit again. He even knows I use public transport, the city I live in has more vehicles than human beings and has now made it to the Guiness. Do you know the Hiroshima that just burst in my head? I had the bloody idea of sharing Nagasaki with him as well. The best part is everything they need has to happen then and there. Its like asking someone to pee when his bladder is empty! 

Sometimes I so wish bosses can be sent for a skill test. The skills that his women employees would be having when it comes to multi tasking, I am sure he would never even have an ounce. I want to see them do the house work and come to office for once. I want to see them cook and clean the house and make it to work on time everyday. I also want to see them take the public transport and not their cars and drivers. The day they surpass any woman who does all the above on a normal day, I will remove this post and abbreviation and salute them.

Right now, I am almost about to open my third eye (Indian mythology talks of the Lord Shiva who opens his third eye when he gets mighty angry which brings destruction) Aah..Somebody make me a mutant, Cyclops for now. 

Things that irritate me.

Posted: March 15, 2013 in Uncategorized
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Today I feel really weird. Irritated. Especially because of lot of silly things that happen in this world. 

1)Have you ever been approached by them only when they need your service in some way and ignore you otherwise? When people behave nicely only when they want something from you irritates me the most. I sometimes feel like giving them a slap and ask “What were you asking, again? Imagine if I do the same to you.”  

2)How many times have you had friends or so called friends treat you according to their mood? They expect you to behave the same way you normally would even if they are feeling good, angry and throw their attitude around you.

3) Have you seen those people who change like chameleons? At first you are a friend, later you are just one of those friends, later you are just a colleague/acquaintance. They prefer new company over the old ones. 

4) The ones that irritate me the most also includes anything to do with USA. Indians have to show how Indian they are in attitude when it comes to anything related to that country. Do I mean in a good way? NO! They love to keep anyone from USA on top of their heads and show how great they are. Okay, so what if you keep getting your stuff from there. or your cousins or parents live there who make your life better by sending you stuff? That doesn’t make YOU an American citizen! Nor does it make you super stylish or the ‘in’ thing or the mover with times. You are again someone who is residing here in this country! You don’t need to share your knowledge ALL THE TIME at every damn discussion about how much you know about that country and make others feel rotten. You just end up making yourself look stupid because no one is really interested in your story. That country is also like any country in the world. Just because it lives on the epitome of luxury and dollars doesn’t mean you brag about how americanized your life is! 

5) People who steal your ideas. I HATE it when that happens. Who wouldn’t. So you had this idea at work and someone else explains it to your boss making it look like its his/hers, can you feel the steam coming out from your ears and your head? They just want to make themselves look super awesome in front of others! Especially in advertising, this happens a lot. Either there is someone who tries to steal the art guy who is the best in his imagination leaving no room for any other writer to work with him ever on any project, or there is someone who comes to discuss an idea with you and smartly put it into his own folder. 

6) People who show off their stash in such a way that makes others feel miserable. I know of one lady who runs a famous blog who can probably afford anything she can imagine. I always wondered if she had black money in her house that she buys so many things. Her stash includes infinite brands cosmetics, Chanel bags, designer clothes and Steve Maddens and God knows what else. She gets a lot of stuff for free but never gives away anything to anyone even if she has duplicates of them! There are some friends too who keep raving about the stuff they have making others feel impoverished. 

So please cut the crap people. I had enough of your shit. Trust me. I do. If committing sins weren’t enough, these are more than enough! 

I write here not because its V Day. I write here because this is my first real V Day in life and a day where I feel different. Its one of those first times I have stayed away from my folks and remember them the most to the extent of having tears rolling while working and checking their Facebook pages N number of times. Today I realised there are just too many people I love apart from that and don’t want to lose anyone. For the first time today I realised I am supposed to be the Happiest Girl in the World. Why am I happy? I have no answer. I am just pure happy and feel lucky. I have a great partner who probably I will take forever to know even better than yesterday, but today is just bliss. Have I done anything special back home.NO. I have infact rushed to work and not wearing the cliched reds to work on a pitch which might take me the whole day. I wont be back home early to have any celebrations nor get time to make any special dish to remember today. But still…wherever I am, who ever I am,  I am happy.

Those Days, These Days.

Posted: February 7, 2013 in Uncategorized
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Those days I was

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These days I am

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Those days I 

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These days I

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Those days I 

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These days I 

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Those days I

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These days I 

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Those days I 

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These days I

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Yeah, it’s damn easy these days. Sometimes when I watch some actors on TV I wonder, if they can get away with a stiff face anyone can. Look at Kristen Stewart for example. Her stiff face got her through the entire Twilight series. Had I been the director, I wouldn’t have even hired Kristen’s mom ( i would get the feeling its in her genes and jeans as well). I am surprised Hollywood. A person who can be as inexpressive as Kristen can rise to fame in Hollywood. Same goes for that short and sad actor Frieda Pinto. This woman has the face of a slum dweller. I am an Indian and I say so myself. She was absolutely expressionless in her first movie Slum Dog Millionaire and hardly had a 2 minute dialogue and next thing I know her pictures have been bombarding my television right from talk shows to interviews and Cannes. Another Indian to be noted in the same category is Sonam Kapoor, the official face of L’oreal. Anyone out there, if you have not seen her movies, good for you. Don’t even think of doing that. This woman has extremely dark circles which is hidden by layers of L’oreal concealer and an acting record which can be thrown from the 16th floor of any building. Another actor who I had always felt less expressive in the past was Toby Maguire. But I think I got used to seeing him that way in Spider Man series and then thought he actually fitted the role well… less expressive but was expressive at the right places. But if someone can show Kristen Stewart the door, I would worship that person. I just couldn’t take the entire movie so didnt even watch the entire series only because of that one inexpressive wannabe vampire! Why, she is even now one of the highest paid actresses! God! I only know one thing now. Sleep with a director and get a movie even if you are a bad actress and make lots of money. Hollywood seems easy now for anyone who wants it. Go on. Inexpressive souls. Go on.

Freida Pinto emotes here for a change.

Freida Pinto emotes here for a change.

Kristen has a stiff face for paparazzi as well

Kristen has a stiff face for paparazzi as well

Sonam Kapoor, I can see her dark circles here too.

Sonam Kapoor, I can see her dark circles here too.

How many of you are out there who have wished to have a Secret Santa sometime. Or simply, how many of you have been mostly unlucky when it came to getting things easy or getting gifts? We may be some of those unlucky ones who normally don’t get gifts from most normally either because we are disliked or are not given importance to. I am sort of the unlucky ones who gets gifts the rarest. Perhaps that’s why I always got excited when I got gifts ever since I was little and was even more excited when others unwrapped their gifts. I am one of those who preserves a gift right to its wrapper. Every small gift means a lot to me. The surprise element has been the most enticing of them all. I rarely get gifts even today. I always wish sometimes (secretly) to get an awesome gift from someone sometimes. I have realised over the years, its not the gift, but just the feeling of being important or special to someone that means more. Come birthday or any special occasion , I end up expecting something from people. Expectations can be real killing. Anyone close goes abroad I end up expecting. Its not like expect a fortune, but I seriously sometimes wish to have something from there for namesake atleast. The greed in me doesn’t get any better even when I see empty hands. So for years now I have been like this, expecting every other day to be better than yesterday. Today, I have reached a conclusion.

Don’t wait for Santa. The real Santa is in you yourself! Give yourself more, love yourself more and keep expecting the best out of life. It keeps coming to you in good forms and maybe the best later. Gift yourself with anything you would love to have if its sensible enough to have it or save up to get the non sensible ones. Splurge a little, love a little, live a little. This life doesn’t happen too often, nor does this age. 

Earn, Save, Splurge, Live, Love, Peace. Most of all BE HAPPY. 

2013, only give me the best!