We all have had our share of burning bridges. Friends, family, colleagues or even bosses. If you haven’t done it then something is really wrong with you.You are not a homosapien. I had a friend once get suspicious about me, when I said I am no longer in talking terms with some real good friends and am still trying to figure out what went wrong. Those relationships just snapped without me doing anything. While she has never gone through such a time and has a strong network of friends, I reckon she thought there is something wrong with me, I could feel it. She said you actually come across as quarrelsome because of your frankness. I kept wondering how can frankness be deduced as quarrel. Apart from those relationships that fell apart, I had other relationships fall apart only because of other reasons other than me being me. On the contrary, I don’t regret them at all.
Relationships teach you a number of life lessons. Breaking up with friends or anyone else teaches you what you are not supposed to do. But there is yet another very important lesson that I learnt. The universal truth is You came alone and you leave alone in the world. No one is going to be there with you when you leave, not even the love of your life.
So what have I learnt breaking up? These may teach you a thing or two.
Friends – Its ok! Go on and make new ones. It might take time the older you get. But you will eventually make some. The right ones will stick around. I don’t cry anymore when I am leaving a place with all my friends in it. Because I know the real ones will care to keep in touch and will be the same with me even after 20 years. The others well, you know. I don’t feel sad leaving anyone. Dettachment is good. You learn to be on your own.
Colleagues – Remember the ground rule. Workplace is a really bad place for making friends. Even if you do, you need to learn to separate your professional and personal life. I had a colleague I just hated, but I had to be in good terms with her. But once we parted ways after quitting, I simply ticked her off my Facebook list ( yeah she was on my list don’t ask me why) and I don’t give a damn anymore.
Bosses – These guys can make life horrible for you. There are those guys who are nice, then there are the slimy ones. The slimy ones try to get everything their way. Well I remember one of my bosses hiring 2 girls from management school only based on the way they looked. Yes! Lucky women. They are already flying in their careers. Trust me when I tell you their presentation during recruitment was sad. I was on the recruitment panel and we never casted our vote for them, but what do you know. They got hired. Sorry, I can’t take such hypocrites.
Family – If you have burnt bridges with your immediate family, I would say fix it. This is the only relationship even over friendship worth your time and effort in fixing. Parents are the ones who vest their lives in us. Siblings are our first friends. Its all worth it. However if it has something to do with the extended family, it really depends. You can try to fix it but if the cut is really deep its ok to not do so. Really.
At the end of the story, always retrospect. You cannot always be that good. You are human and capable of errors. But don’t live on that string forever. Break it when you have to. For example, I had someone once gift me a bracelet saying I am her best friend. Well in a few days she turns around and attaches a price tag on it saying her husband was asking about it and all her sob stories followed to gain sympathy That’s it. I returned it and broke it off silently. She did come back to speak, but the damage was already done. Did I feel bad. N0t really. I have been through such things so many times that it doesn’t bother me anymore. But I have decided there is no room for such people. So should you, so go ahead, burn it.